Why You Should Stop Chasing Happiness and Focus on This Instead
The reason why chasing happiness won’t lead to fulfillment
Happiness is frequently promoted as the ideal in today’s society. It’s promoted by influencers who appear to have life figured out, promoted in self-help books, and splattered all over social media feeds.
We see pictures of happy people on beaches, lovers, and prosperous business people leading fulfilling lives. It’s understandable why we come to believe that we should always strive for happiness.
The catch is that pursuing happiness frequently leaves us feeling much more dissatisfied and irritated than when we began. The finish line is constantly just out of reach, making it feel like running on an endless treadmill. What then is the objective if happiness isn’t it? Instead, what should we concentrate on?
This post will discuss why pursuing happiness nonstop might not be the best way to live a happy life and what you should prioritize in order to discover greater fulfillment and purpose.
The Problem with Chasing Happiness
Before we get into what you should focus on, let’s talk about why seeking happiness doesn’t function as we want it to.
Happiness is fleeting
One of the most significant challenges with seeking happiness is that it is frequently based on transient moments. Happiness is typically an emotional high, similar to how you feel when you buy a new item, complete a goal, or go on vacation. But, as we all know, those times do not last. You win the promotion, and soon after, you’re thinking about the next major goal. You fall in love, but after the honeymoon period, normal life sets in and the excitement fades. Chasing these fleeting highs is taxing, leaving us continually hungry for the next burst of euphoria.
It creates pressure
When we constantly focus on being happy, we put unneeded pressure on ourselves. If we do not feel joyful every day, we begin to suspect that something is amiss. However, life is full of emotions. It is natural to feel sad, frustrated, angry, and disappointed. By attempting to impose happiness, we overlook the full range of human feeling, which might actually make us feel worse. The more we pursue happiness, the more we notice its absence during times of difficulty or stress.
Happiness is often external
Many of us attribute our satisfaction to external sources, such as material belongings, successes, or even relationships.
We say to ourselves: “If I could just get that raise, then I’ll be happy.” Or it could be: “Once I’m in a relationship, then I’ll be happy.”
However, when we rely on external conditions for happiness, we surrender our power. Those things are often beyond our control, and they can vanish as quickly as they appeared. Relying on external recognition or successes for happiness is akin to constructing a house on sand — it is unstable.
The Alternative: Focus on Meaning and Growth
Instead of seeking happiness, I’d want to recommend a different approach: focus on significance and growth. These two things are significantly more sustainable and gratifying in the long run, and they lead to a more stable sense of contentment than happiness.
Meaning gives you a sense of purpose
Unlike enjoyment, which is often determined by external circumstances, meaning comes from within. When you seek to live a meaningful life, you are motivated by your values, passions, and the things that are most important to you. Meaning provides a sense of purpose. Even if you don’t always smile from ear to ear, you get up in the morning knowing that your life is on track.
Making huge, life-changing decisions does not always result in meaning. It can be found in little, ordinary moments, such as spending time with loved ones, assisting a friend, or engaging in an activity you enjoy.
When you adjust your perspective from “How can I be happy today?” in “How can I live a life that feels meaningful to me?”
You’re less likely to feel constantly pressured to be happy and more likely to be content, even during difficult circumstances.
Growth leads to resilience
Another essential element of a good existence is personal development. Growth is something that endures, in contrast to bliss, which comes and goes. You develop resilience when you put your attention on growing, learning, and pushing yourself. Adversity teaches you how to deal with failures, confront obstacles, and become stronger. Although growth isn’t always simple — it frequently requires confronting hard realities and pushing outside of your comfort zone — it is incredibly fulfilling.
Consider this: When you look back on your life, you are frequently most proud of the obstacles you have surmounted. The things that stick with you are the times you overcame fear, gained new knowledge, or made strides toward a goal, no matter how difficult they were. Happiness alone cannot give your life the depth and richness that growth can.
Meaning and growth are sustainable
Meaning and growth are permanent, in contrast to enjoyment, which is sometimes predicated on temporary pleasure or fast fixes. They don’t depend on whether you’re having a good or poor day or if you’ve accomplished something outside of yourself. You are living in accordance with your basic principles when you put your attention on meaning, and that is something that endures through the highs and lows of life. Growth is a process rather than a final goal; it also builds up over time.
You can cultivate a more resilient mindset by concentrating on progress and meaning. Because you recognize that trials are a necessary part of the process, you are less disturbed by life’s setbacks. You view failures as chances to develop and learn rather than as a way to get lost. Compared to the ephemeral quest of happiness, this method produces a deeper sense of contentment that is far more sustainable.
How to Start Focusing on Meaning and Growth
So, how can you begin to shift your attention from happiness to meaning and growth? Here are some practical steps:
Identify your values
To have a meaningful life, you must understand what is essential to you. Spend some time reflecting on your essential principles. What do you stand for? What do you want your life to reflect? This could range from love and charity to creativity or adventure.
Once you’ve defined your beliefs, begin to match your activities with them. This will give your life a sense of purpose, regardless of whether you’re “happy” right now.
Embrace challenges
Growth does not occur in your comfort zone. Start viewing problems as opportunities for personal growth. Challenge yourself to grow by acquiring a new skill, confronting a difficult situation, or stepping beyond of your comfort zone. The discomfort is only short, but the growth is long lasting.
Find meaning in the small things
Meaning isn’t limited to major, life-changing experiences. It also appears in minor, everyday interactions. Take time to appreciate the little things in life that make it worthwhile — a good discussion, a modest act of kindness, or a moment of quiet thought. When you start noticing these moments, you’ll experience a greater sense of contentment in your daily life.
Let go of the pressure to be happy all the time
Finally, give yourself permission to experience all of your feelings. Life is a combination of happiness, grief, frustration, and everything in-between. Instead of putting pressure on yourself to be happy all the time, focus on living a meaningful life that is consistent with your values. The irony is that when you stop chasing happiness, you tend to feel more content and satisfied with your life as a whole.
Final Thoughts
Although it’s a lovely feeling, happiness isn’t the end goal. Put your attention on leading a meaningful life and embracing personal development rather than chasing after ephemeral moments of happiness. When you do, you’ll discover a more profound sense of contentment independent of outside events or fleeting highs. The real secrets of a life well lived are progress and meaning, and you may get them every day.
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