10 Life Lessons I Learned the Hard Way That You Can Avoid

Avoid these costly mistakes and save yourself the trouble.

Duane Michael
7 min readJan 2, 2025
man pointing forward
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

Haven’t you ever had one of those moments where life seems to be playing some kind of cosmic joke on you? You feel like you finally have it all figured out, and then life reaches out and whacks you with a curveball from out of nowhere.

For me, it was like that. I spent a lot of years making my mistakes, learning my lessons the hard way, and in retrospect wishing someone had warned me. Well, take this as the warning label. Well, here’s me trying to share the top 10 life lessons I’ve learned the hard way so that you don’t have to.

Let’s dive in — and hopefully you’ll avoid some of these pitfalls!

Don’t Chase Perfection — It Doesn’t Exist

All my life, I had been trying to do everything perfectly — from school to social life, I wanted to ace it all. But here is the thing: perfection is a myth. And chasing it only leads to stress, disappointment, and frustration.

Nobody has their life together, and nobody does, even if their social media says that. Instead of perfection, you are working your way to becoming the best version of yourself. Love your quirks; learn from your mistakes — it is perfectly okay to let yourself be human. Life gets loads more fun when you are not trying to be flawless all the time.

Lesson: Perfection is boring. Be real instead.

Don’t Compare Your Journey to Others

It’s tempting to look at someone else’s life and feel like you’re falling behind. Maybe your friends are getting dream jobs, traveling the world, or seem to have it all figured out. But here’s the kicker: everyone’s timeline is different.

I used to compare myself to others constantly, and it was exhausting. But once I realized that I was running my own race — not theirs — everything changed. Some people hit big milestones early, while others take a little more time. That’s okay! Your path is yours alone.

Lesson: Comparison is a joy stealer. Dwell on your own progress.

Failure Is Not the End — It’s Just a New Beginning

Failure feels like the end of the world when you’re in it. I have had my fair share of failures, and at that time, each felt like a disaster. Be it bombing a test, losing out on a job opportunity, or facing rejection in relationships, failure stung. But here’s the thing I didn’t realize: failure is a stepping stone to success.

Sign that reads “If you never know failure, You will never know success
Photo by the blowup on Unsplash

With every failure, I learned something anew. And those failures brought me to where I sit and are making me bolder each day. I was afraid to fail a lot. Never be, because that is part of your process. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward.

Lesson: It is not fatal to fail. It is a detour, not a dead end.

Trust Your Gut — It’s Usually Right

We all have that inner voice that whispers when something doesn’t feel right. For years, I ignored mine and ended up in situations I could’ve avoided — like bad relationships or dead-end jobs. Looking back, I wish I had trusted my gut more.

Your intuition is one of the most powerful gifts you have. If something feels off, it likely is. Whether in the area of a friendship, a business deal, or a decision about your future, listen to your instincts. They often know more than you realize.

Lesson: The gut is the best guide. Trust it.

Time Is Your Most Valuable Resource

Time is of no concern when one is young. I wasted a lot of it on unimportant things, such as continuously browsing social media for hours, procrastinating, and being around people who don’t add value to my life.

But time is literally the one thing you cannot get back. You don’t have to be productive 24/7, but make sure you invest your time in things that count. Invest in your growth, spend time with people you care about, and pursue passions that light you up.

Lesson: Do not waste your time; it is more valuable than you imagine.

Set Boundaries — And Stick to Them

I used to say “yes” to everything, even when I didn’t want to. I thought that would make people like me more. But all it did was burn me out. Saying “no” is sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself, and I learned that the hard way.

Setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s a necessity. Be it in friendships, relationships, or work, one has to protect their time, energy, and mental health. Never be afraid of saying no to things that drain you.

Lesson: Boundaries are a kind of self-respect. Mind them.

Money Can’t Buy Happiness, But It Can Buy Freedom

Let’s get real for a second: money counts. But even though money can’t buy happiness, it can give you independence and options. I had spent years blowing my cash on things I didn’t need, from hip outfits to gadgets to nights out, only to find the things didn’t bring me satisfaction in the long term.

woman holding money
Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

Instead, I wish I had just been more focused on saving and investing in what really counted: experiences. That’s travel, learning, relationships — these are far more important than any stupid stuff will ever be. Be smart with your money; use it in constructing the life you want and not keeping up with anybody else.

Lesson learned: Spend less than you make. Experiences > stuff.

You Are Not Your Job

Long after that, I had allowed my job to define me. If things were going great at work, it was great; if not, my confidence would nosedive. But then one day, I realized that your job is only one aspect of your life — it’s not who you are.

Your worth is not about the title you have, a salary you receive, or the approval of your boss. Though it is essential to be proud of the work, this is supposed not to be consumed by the person’s identity. Life is more than trying to survive.

Lesson: You are more than your job title. Don’t let work define you.

It’s Okay to Outgrow People

This one was tough for me, because over the years I have had friendships and relationships that didn’t last. I used to feel guilty when I grew out of people, but I realized it was just part of life. Not everyone has to move with you as you’re growing and changing, and that’s totally okay.

Surround yourself with people who will support your growth and aren’t holding you back from being the best version of you. It’s better to have a small circle of uplifting people than a big crowd of negativity.

Lesson: Everyone isn’t meant to remain in your life forever. Be selective in choosing the company you keep.

Your Mental Health Is Just As Important As Your Physical Health

I always thought that, for as long as I am healthy physically, everything will be fine. My response to that has shifted to the belief that mental health matters most, if not over physical health. And sometimes, I also neglect signs of stress, anxiety, and burnout since my mind keeps telling me to just keep moving. It wasn’t until I reached a point where I had hit the bottom that it dawned on me I needed to take care of my mind just like my body.

Don’t wait until you’re on the verge of a breakdown to take care of your mental health. Be it talking to someone, mindfulness exercises, or breaks when you need them, make sure you are taking care of yourself inside and out.

Lesson: Mental health matters. Never ignore it.

Final Thoughts

Life has some tough lessons to it, but whereas many come about via tough experience, maybe, just maybe, these ten can save a couple bruises on your journey through it. Keep in mind that making mistakes in life is very crucial; this is how one can learn. However, whenever you can avoid certain really important mistakes, why wouldn’t you want to?

At the end of the day, life is a journey. Embrace it, learn from it, and don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ve got this!

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Duane Michael
Duane Michael

Written by Duane Michael

I really enjoy writing fictional horror stories. Follow me out at Spine Chilling Stories. 😊

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